Do you toss and turn every night wondering about the real reason your boyfriend broke up with you?
Do you feel – Deep down – That the reason he gave you was a lie? A bad excuse?
Why? Why did he break up with me?
Your brain literally hurts from dissecting and analyzing everything that happened before you broke up. Every word he said, every little fight.
Worst of all, you can’t stop thinking that it was all your fault.
You weren’t good enough for him. Not interesting enough. Not attractive enough. Too jealous. Too clingy. Too everything. Or not enough.
(But you still crave that he regrets leaving you, right?)
“I just need some time on my own, to figure out what I want in life”.
“I’m not emotionally available right now”.
“You are too…and not enough…” (Fill in the blanks).
“I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore”.
“It’s not you. It’s me”.
“This is not working out for me”. (??)
Did your ex boyfriend tell you any of these things?
I don’t know how to break it to you, but there’s a 99% that your ex has lied to you about the real reason for breaking up with you.
It’s not because he is a bad person. He probably did it to protect your feelings, or his conscience. But, here’s the real reason behind the breakup:
The real reason behind (almost) any breakup is a loss of attraction.
Wait! I’m not talking about physical attraction.
And I’m not saying it’s your fault. NO.
Unknowingly, something has happened that had made you seem less attractive (again, not sexually).
And here some of the possible things that happened:
1. Low Self Esteem
I say it over and over for years: If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else really love you?
The way other people see you is solely dependant on how you see yourself.
Look in the mirror and pay attention to your thoughts. Do you see all the flaws in your face and your body?
Make a list of the things you like about yourself and the things you don’t. Which list is longer?
If you’re always down on yourself (whether you say it or not!), your boyfriend will eventually think like you.
I know some people do it to get attention, but the bottom lime is that being down on yourself is unattractive.
If you feel that this is out of your control – Seek help. There are dozens of amazing books that can change your life. My favorite one is “How to Love Yourself” by Louise Hay.
2. Controlling
When you’re in love, you want to be with the one you love all the time. You want to know what he thinks about everything, and you secretly wish that he had the same likes, dislikes and opinions as you do.
But every person needs a little space to breathe. To remember who he is as an individual. To have his own opinions without being scrutinized about every decision he makes.
If you didn’t give your boyfriend enough free will to do as he pleases, he has taken his freedom back by breaking up with you.
This included being a class-5 “clinger”. If you are “overly attached” you should know that it comes from your insecurities, and it is a total attraction destroyer.
You have to learn how to be independent. Have a life that doesn’t involve him or dependant on him.
Independence is a sign of self esteem and confidence.
3. Jealousy
Being overly jealous is well known attraction killer. Some jealousy is fine, but you always fear that someone else will come and take him away from you, and you feel threatened in your relationship – He’ll have no choice but to run away.
Over jealousy comes, again, from your insecurity. You don’t believe that you’re good enough for him to be only interested in you.
If you did, you wouldn’t be intimidated by any other person.
(Read: How to Stop Being Jealous)
Bottom Line: Can You Get Him BACK?
No matter if you are “guilty” of any of the above attraction-killers, I can almost guarantee one critical thing:
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you anymore.
Attraction and love are two separate things. Loss of attraction doesn’t mean loss of love. It just masks the love in a way that he can’t see it’s there.
And if your boyfriend still loves you, you can probably get him back.
I’ve learned this critical fact from my friend Brad Browning, a relationship coach and author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program:
If you do a couple of things right, the clouds that hide your ex boyfriend’s love for you will disappear, and he’ll find himself begging to have you back in his arms.
Watch this video with Brad showing you how to make your ex chase you (instead of the other way around)
Brad Browning’s “Ex Back Factor” is the best guide I’ve ever seen about how to get your ex back in your arms – Faster than you can imagine.
In this (free) video he’ll show you how to know if it’s too late to get him back, how to avoid 5 brutal mistakes that’ll kill your chances and 3 clever psychological loopholes that” make him crawl back in your arms.
Come back and tell me what you think about it, o.k?
As always, I’m rooting for ya,
Lisa
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How to Use the 60 Day No Contact Rule to Get Him Back
20 Signs that Your Ex Wants You Back
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